we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
