so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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