Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
