It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
