I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize