the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
