Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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