Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.

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(850): View more from Florida

Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

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(425): View more from Washington

I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.

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