Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
