I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
