i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
