Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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