Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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