Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
