: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
