Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
