Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
