i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
