you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
