i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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