"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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