You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
