Sponge bath it is.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize