okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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