I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
