ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
