this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
