wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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