You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
