No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
