Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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