fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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