I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
