It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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