i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
