The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
