is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize