We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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