you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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