Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
