I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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