you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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