Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
