After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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