I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
