I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
