i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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