Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
