His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
