i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
