i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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