Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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