Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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