think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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