have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
