I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
