I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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