I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
