question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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