you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
