Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
