im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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