he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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