To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
