i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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