I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
COCAINE IS GR8
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
