he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
