i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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