is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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